Monthly Archives: September 2010

Todays words from the digital man cave are about that most deadly of phenomenons in the social arena. Infectious smiles. You can love em sure, but you’ve got good reason to beware those awesomely incredible and complicated things.

It’s no secret that smiles communicate a number of things to people. A smile can show your current mood, a smile can let people know you approve, a smile can show your future intentions. A smile from the right person can change your entire day. But why should you worry about them?

If you’re not single, an infectious smile should give you pause. You’d be a bad liar if you tried to say that no one on earth but the one you’re with has an infectious smile, which means you stand a good chance of running into one of these smiles sooner or later. How easy is it to adequately explain to your significant other “Oh that woman over there smiled at me and I couldn’t help but smile back, and it made me feel good so I just kept on smiling, so that’s why I’ve got this big toothy grin right now”, without sounding like an a$$hole? Not the easiest thing. You probably want to avoid them.

If you are single, an infectious smile can lead to something I call Suspended Logic. Actually this can happen regardless of your relationship status, but basically Suspended Logic is where you stop thinking and start acting on instinct. The volume on your reasoning and logic get turned way way down, and all you end up focusing on is the cause of your infectious smile. In ancient times the Greeks had a name for this. Back then it was the Siren’s Song that men had to worry about. Now it’s the infectious smile. You might do or say things you normally wouldn’t. You might get accused of shameless flirting in the full presence of your significant other.

Guys, this is how we get in trouble.

You ever been elbowed really hard because you were smiling like an idiot at someone? You ever find yourself walking into a situation that your better judgment would normally have you avoid, except someone gave you that smile and asked you to do it?

You got hit with an infectious smile buddy.

It can be a little rough but I’ll be honest with you. As much trouble as they can be, I love them. Infectious smiles make the world a brighter place. It has been said that you should smile at strangers because you’ll end up making someone’s day.

So my advice to you is be on the giving end, rather than the receiving end. We know what can happen when you’re the one caught in the Siren’s Song, but how about letting someone else have that bit of fun for a change?

Stay tuned for more words from the digital man cave!

This very very late post from the digital man cave is due mostly to the events that inspired the title itself. I took a trip today that ended out in the country about 45 minutes away. The drive took me along a river through a small town that couldn’t have had a population greater than a couple hundred (if even that) and ended at a farm house in the middle of nowhere. Bright, sunny, and quiet. The loudest thing around were the barking dogs greeting you, or the chickens clucking softly near the tree swing. I’m really talking middle of the country here. In fact, here’s the view from the back patio or as I like to think of it “the main stage”. I was in awe of the simplicity of it all.

In a short 9 hours I spent time catching up with friends I hadn’t seen in several years (and making new ones), and I was fortunate in that every single activity was an experience worth noting and repeating, and the day itself was a reminder to renew.

I say that because it was a step back from what is considered “normal life”. I spent a Sunday that could have been like every other talking with a group of people outside in the morning air about flying in airplanes and crushes, over freshly hand made tea, coffee, and orange juice. Suddenly a yoga session breaks out because one of the people there happens to run a yoga studio and a few others felt like a stretch would do them good. For that instructor, yoga has been her renewal in life for the last few years (I finally got to see how yoga could be a workout and a relaxer, it gets kind of intense). Below is another section of the stage/yoga area.

In the midst of all this I received an introduction to the art and science that is tea serving and tea making. The mentor of two the people there hollowed out a hill near his house to store his hundreds of thousands of tea bundles for aging and is quoted as saying he hasn’t made a good cup of tea in four years. By my standards he makes dozens of delicious pots daily, but what do I know about tea, right? Now those two mentees have been inspired to open up their own tea shop soon. Really discovering tea has been their form of renewal in life.

I’m talking a lot but I haven’t gotten to the point yet. It’s actually kind of simple. Take some time to slow down and do something out of the ordinary, like sitting back to enjoy your surroundings, or talking to someone you care about, without having a reason for the conversation, or learning about the complexities of things you thought were simple. It’s important to take a minute to do things you otherwise would not, because it serves as a reminder for why you’ve made certain choices in life. Often we work ourselves to the bone in order to set ourselves up to one day have numerous days like my Sunday. Unfortunately it’s easy to lose sight of that when you never get a reminder.

Image courtesy/copyright 123rf.com

Todays words from the digital man cave are about taking the leap of faith that is starting a new business. The last piece of advice someone gave to me was “Don’t expect to break even for three years. If you can hang in there that long, it’s worth it on the other side.” It’s commonly accepted that 9 out of 10 new businesses fail before or shortly after the 1 year anniversary, and 9 of the 10 that make it past the first year also fail before or shortly after the 10 year anniversary. It’s also commonly accepted that most new businesses have a period of about 3-5 years where you will be in the negative.

All of this information was around and accepted pre-recession.

So if anything, it’s much harder now, right? Probably.

Should you really be concerned about that if you’re just starting out? Probably not.

New adventures are a lot like sky diving. You make the decision, you prepare, you check your equipment, then you get real real REAL scared. And if you’re lucky you have a moment of clarity in the midst of the heart pounding anxiety that is just long enough to get your feet moving and your body careening out into the clear blue yonder. And then you’re falling and it’s the scariest and most exhilarating thing you’ve ever experienced. If your bladder was full you’d probably end up doing some crazy mid-air urine avoidance gymnastics. Once you pull the chute and it opens, it’s a beautiful ride back to earth.

But first you have to take action, and pray everything is working in order. That way you can do it all over again as soon as possible.

Todays words from the digital man cave are about fear. Fear is an all too familiar sensation in life. As children we fear large animals, our parents, doctors and dentists… concrete, observable figures that we can at least attempt to do something to avoid. As adults we often fear things that can be largely out of our control like shifts in the economy and stock markets, what someone will think if we express our opinions, and whether or not someone chooses to steal or damage our personal property. Events that our everyday actions may or may not have any meaningful effect on. But we fear them all the same.

I’ve been a victim of fear lately, and a perpetrator of fear at the same time. Hate to say it but it’s true. I am my own victim, and I am my own perp. I spent a lot of time creating something meaningful to me, and once I was done I breathed a sigh of relief. And then it occurred to me that not everyone would be as pleased with my small accomplishment as I was. In fact, some people might find what I’d done offensive, if not anger inducing. I had told myself that it was important to get other people to read my work so that I could have the critical feedback that is necessary to improve in writing, but I found myself hesitating to ask for it. Fear had already taken hold of me.

Would people that I respected as writers be able to respect my attempt to enter their world?

So far the answer has been a quiet yes. Those who’ve taken the time to respond to me may never realize how much their quiet support and criticism has meant. See what I’ve had to try to remember is that fear does have a place in life, that place is just not anywhere near your dreams. Fear can warn us of danger to keep us safe, but it can also keep us from ever taking the leap of faith that is almost a requirement of doing something great with your time on earth.

Fear of new businesses. Fear of commitment. Fear of raising kids. Fear of traveling. Fear of new cultural experiences. All manifestations of the fear of the unknown. It is the fear that never allows us to grow or experience anything that will change our perception of life.

The true purpose of fear should be to motivate us to new heights. Typically, if you’re afraid of a new experience that’s a good indicator that it’ll be something that will change who you are, for better or worse. It is possible to make fear your tool instead of your enemy. When you begin to experience fear in the face of doing something different, use fear as an indicator, and act before it can cripple you. Can’t allow the fear of change to define you if you’re going to effect more than your personal circle of influence.

Right?

Click to enlarge and experience the Internet Fist Bump.

YES! It’ s here. It’s a bit late and I’m really really sorry about that. If my body wasn’t so numb I would flagellate myself (that is probably one of the funnier words I’ve heard in my life) for you. With that being said, a lot of work went into creating this document. It’s 20 pages not including the cover, and it’s packed with information. See the previous posts for a table of contents or just download it (the file size is under 1mb) and see for yourself.

Seriously, you’re going to see it and wonder what possessed me to even write that much. Honestly I don’t know how I could not do something like this. I see people every day who are tired, frustrated, and feel like they’re getting screwed out their happiness one hour at a time. I know there are only 24 hours in a day (and I’ve been awake for nearly all of them today) which can make it extremely difficult to accomplish your goals, if you have no plan.

I put this together because I wanted make an effort to give people a plan to get some of their time back AND help them straighten out different areas of their lives. Help people go from surviving to living. I think survival is what most people do as a way of life. We survive, but we don’t live. We need to all get back to living no matter how hard it is.

Like a body builder I have great respect for once said, “Life is for the living… As hard as this is… as hard as this is, this is what I want to do. This is what I want to do. I’m living. What about you?” – Kai L. Greene, Professional Body Builder

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A big thank you goes to the people at the Mastered Ingenuity Collective for reading, and reading, and reading again every little piece of this document. It is much appreciated and I’m looking forward to future opportunities to be a part of what they do.

Right Click and Save As to Download the eBook!

(P.S. please leave me your feedback when you’re done! I’m writing like my life depends on it these days, but a writer with no feedback will have a hard time improving. You can find my email over here, or leave me a comment right here. Thank you.)

Well folks it’s almost here. The eBook will drop today. I’m pretty excited and I’m pretty wired too. I’ve had maybe three or three and a half hours sleep in the last 48 hours. I’ve gotta say I’m just not used to that anymore. I mean yea, I’ll get three or four hours a night, but three or four hours broken up into 40-60 minute chunks just doesn’t do it for me.

So this eBook was originally scheduled for a release time of right about now. And technically it could go out right now. It is a complete document. But I want to get a 2nd/3rd opinion on it. I’ve had so much coffee that it’s practically coming out of my pores right now, so I want to make sure that what I’ve written makes more sense than what I usually write.

I am hoping to have that review finished and locked roughly 90 minutes from now. When that happens get ready to knuckle down because theInternet Fist Bump is on the way.